THE TOWN (2010)

DIRECTOR: Ben Affleck
WRITER(s): Peter Craig. Ben Affleck. *
RUN TIME: 125mins
GENRE: Crime/ Drama/ Thriller
*Based on the novel “Prince of Thieves” by Chuck Hogan.

   Another brilliant film from Ben Affleck, The Town stars said Affleck and Jeremy Renner (The Hurt Locker) as longtime bank robbers Doug and James. As Doug (Affleck) plans their last heist he struggles with loyalty to his criminal friends and his feelings for Claire (Rebecca Hall), a bank manager from an earlier job.
   After Gone Baby Gone this is another sublime lesson in direction from Ben Affleck. As good as this film is though, it does lack that ‘something’ Gone Baby Gone had that made it so special. All-round the performances (in front and behind the camera) are pitch perfect; the photography is top notch, great editing, and for the genre The Town ticks all the boxes, literally. There’s the thief-with-a-conscience, his overly aggressive partner, masked bank raids, car chases, shootouts, the tough-ass determined-to-get-his-man FBI agent, and the innocent but troubled love interest. But despite everything slotting neatly into it’s place The Town lacks heart perhaps, underdeveloped character maybe, that indescribable ‘something’ that excels a film to five-star status.

   As a stand-alone film or as Ben Affleck’s first as director it would probably be more highly acclaimed, but following Gone Baby Gone, the two were undoubtedly going to be compared. And that’s what holds it back; every inch of every scene of Gone Baby Gone was so meticulously crafted and played out to perfection that The Town was always going to struggle to surpass it. Ben Affleck does do an amazing job here though, and deserves praise for coming so close to the heights achieved by his brilliant debut, and has most definitely proved he is a force to be reckoned with in the director’s chair. He pulls some awesome performances from his cast, especially Jeremy Renner; who, it seems, is finally getting the attention his work deserves. Affleck himself too does a worthy job in front of the camera, with only his apparent inability to convey palpable emotion at crucial times holding back his performance. There’s also an unnerving showing from the late, great Pete Poslethwaite as “Fergie/ The Florist” – the scariest florist to grace a screen by the way.
   All in all The Town is head and shoulders above any current films of this genre, but unfortunately falls short of greatness. Definitely worth watching however, and is another reason why we should all look forward with great anticipation to whatever project ‘Ben Affleck the director’ decides to tackle next.

Review by Matthew Brown

ARNIE ALTERNATIVE TEN – Film Quotes

“I’m Back!”
Although I think I was pretty extensive in forming the Top 50 Arnold Schwarzenegger film quotes, there are some I realised I’d missed and I just couldn’t leave them out…
   So here they are, and here it is – The Arnie Alternative Ten Film Quotes!

10. “NO SEQUEL FOR YOU”
– Last Action Hero (1993)
   As had become trademark for Arnie, spouting some cheesy cliched line before killing a bad guy was used to it’s cliched best here as he riffs on his other films in Last Action Hero.

9. “I EAT GREEN BERETS FOR BREAKFAST… AND RIGHT NOW, I’M VERY HUNGRY!”
– Commando (1985)
   ‘Mac’ from Predator is the Green Beret on the menu here as he threatens – “this green beret’s gonna kick your big ass!”. Arnie and his “big ass” tell him otherwise… before giving him an eating. I mean beating.

8. “YOU’RE FIRED!”
– True Lies (1994)
   The first appearance from True Lies; one of Arnie’s best films, although not known for his cheesy one-liners particularly. Here the bad guy is hanging from a missile below a jet fighter piloted by Arnie. Who gives him the bad news before ‘firing’ the missile into a helicopter full of more bad guys, and to their explosive end.

7. “WHAT A HOT HEAD”
– The Running Man (1987)
   With ‘Fireball’; the flamethrower-wielding stalker downed Arnie throws in a grenade and turns him into a ball of flames. Before this ‘scorcher’ of a line.

6. “BETWEEN YOUR FAITH, AND MY GLOCK 9mm… I TAKE MY GLOCK”
– End Of Days (1999)
   After receiving some words of faith from a priest about what satanic force he is facing (Satan, by the way), like the knuckle head he is, Arnie refuses to ‘keep the faith’. In a cool way though.

5. “YOU’RE A FUNNY GUY SULLY, I LIKE YOU… THAT’S WHY I’M GONNA KILL YOU LAST”
– Commando (1985)
   Arnie gives a bad guy some hope, saying that he likes him, before crushing said hope by revealing that’s why he’s going to kill him last. Ha Ha.

4. “REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WAS GONNA KILL YOU LAST… I LIED”
– Commando (1985)
   Poor old Sully, he had no luck with Arnie in Commando. This line is said while Sully dangles precariously over a cliff upside down as Arnie holds him by the ankle with one hand. Later, when asked “what happened to Sully?”, Arnie replies “I had to let him go”.

3. “OOZI 9mm”
– The Terminator (1984)
   As The Terminator carefully selects his weapons of choice in a gun shop, he asks for (among numerous others) the Oozi 9mm. The way he monotonously says it with a scary blank look on his face and how popular it has become got this quote on the list.

2. “GIVE ME THE GOD-DAMN PAGE!!!”
– True Lies (1994)
   When Arnie’s partner has acquired a transcript of s telephone conversation of his wife and another man, but is reluctant to show him, Arnie gets very angry and smashes his clenched fist through a nearby car window (without even flinching I might add) as he screams this line. Unforgettable… except, I forgot it when doing the original top 50 Arnie quotes.

1. “DON’T DISTURB MY FRIEND, HE’S DEAD TIRED”
– Commando (1985)
   Basically Arnie sits down on a plane next to a bad guy and swiftly elbow smashes him in the face, ‘rendering him unconscious’ so to speak. Then, putting a hat over the hut’s face, Arnie advises an air hostess of his “dead tired friend”.

   Well, there it is, the final ten. I don’t think I’ll be visiting the realm of Arnie quotes again for quite some time. But have no doubt… I’ll be back!

Written by Matthew Brown

DEVIL (2010)

DIRECTOR: John Erick Dowdle
WRITER(s): M. Night Shyamalan
RUN TIME: 80mins
GENRE: Horror/ Mystery/ Thriller

“From the mind of M. Night Shyamalan.” Or so says the poster. The mind of M. Night Shyamalan? That’s somewhere I wouldn’t want to spend much time. Although when he gets an idea for a film it usually is a good one, even when it isn’t very well conceived – The Happening! Anyway, Devil; the story of five strangers who become trapped in a lift before realising the devil is amongst them, as police on the outside struggle to get in and work out what’s going on before it’s too late. Giving the story was written by M. Night Shyamalan there was always going to be some form of twist, but unfortunately (to me at least) it seemed a bit too predictable once a few clues have been revealed throughout. Having said that it doesn’t spoil the film one bit. The script is well written and chemistry between the characters shows good all-round performances. And given the majority of the film is set in a lift there are a surprising amount of inventive scares as tension between them is never allowed to drop.

   After his recent run of below par films, M. Night Shyamalan may be forgiven for handing directing duties to John Erick Dowdle (Quarantine), who does a sterling job in the chair, but with this being the first of ‘The Night Chronicles’ perhaps Shyamalan himself will direct any following chapters.
   This is a strong film that lives up to its mystery/thriller/horror credentials, and is one of my picks from 2010.

Review by Matthew Brown

MAX PAYNE (2008)

DIRECTOR: John Moore
WRITER(s): Beau Thorne. Sam Lake (game)
RUN TIME: 100mins
GENRE: Action/ Mystery/ Thriller

   I finally got round to watching Max Payne, the 2008 mystery thriller. It wasn’t worth a two year wait, but it is worth a watch. Starring Mark Wahlberg as Max Payne, a New York Detective who’s wife and baby are murdered. He gets himself transferred to the Cold Case office as he tries everything and follows up any lead he can to find out who and why his family were killed. He gets mixed up with the mob, a powerful corporation, and his own untrusting NYPD colleagues, but will stop at nothing to know the truth.
   Based on the PC game of the same name it’s competently directed by John Moore (Behind Enemy Lines, Flight of the Phoenix) and there’s a refreshingly solid performance from Mark Wahlberg. There are some neat touches and clever nods to the game that fans particularly will enjoy. And that’s generally how the film is; as a stand-alone film it struggles slightly especially with the script, but as a videogame adaption it’s very good, especially in the light of the poor Resident Evil films (a great franchise opportunity ruined). It co-stars Mila Kunis of recent Black Swan fame, and she shows how capable she is as a multi-lingual mob member who’s sister was killed by the same people responsible for the deaths of Max Payne’s family. They reluctantly team up and from then on the action is ramped up but there’s a stalled attempt at building tension before a weak twist is revealed. The final third suffers from stage-fright as it never truly reaches it’s potential. However, the performance from Wahlberg mixed with the moody noir atmosphere created by the dark photography, manage to just hold it all together through to it’s finale.

   There is a Max Payne 2 game – The Fall of Max Payne – but I’m doubtful that it will be made into a film because of this one’s poor box office return. Although as a fan of the game I wouldn’t rue a second outing from Mr Payne.
   This is a great videogame adaption to fans of the original game, but can’t quite reach those heights next to films of the same style or genre, despite a solid performance from it’s leading man.

Review by Matthew Brown

TOP 50 ARNIE – Film Quotes

   The imminent return to the silver screen of the beloved beefcake himself Arnold Schwarzenegger, after his surprising run as Governator of California, has inspired this Top 50 of his greatest, stupidest, and most downright hilarious film quotes ever…
   Enjoy. *read in the accent of ‘The Austrian Oak’ for enhanced effect*

50. “I NEED A VACATION.”
– Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)
Surprising next to his other T2 quotes, as this one comes at the end after a full movies worth of learning the more ’emotive’ side of being human.

49. “BUT I’M ALL WOMAN.”
– Junior (1994)
   A pregnant Arnold says this while dressed in a wig and a dress. The big man showing his more feminite side.

48. “GIVE YOU A LIFT?”
– The Running Man (1987)
   During the prison break at the start of the film Arnie offers this quote to an unwitting prison guard before lifting him up and over a barrier, plunging him to his first act death below.

47. “IT’S SHOWTIME”
– The Running Man (1987)
   After surviving, and escaping, the ‘game zone’, Arnie leads a group of rebel freedom fighters against Killian and his security declaring “It’s Showtime!”.

46. “YOU ARE TERMINATED!”
– Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
   Destroying the bustiest terminator to date, the TX, Schwarzenegger can’t resist another cliched final put-down.

45. “YOU’VE JUST BEEN ERASED”
– Eraser (1996)
   As U.S Marshal John ‘Eraser’ Kruger (no relation to Freddie), Arnie defeats yet another bad guy, advising him of his imminent demise… kind Arnie.

44. “GOT TO CATCH THE RED EYE!”
– Last Action Hero (1993)
   The films antagonist (or ‘baddie’) has a glass eye, and on this day he’s wearing a red ‘bomb’ eye. When he escapes late in the night, Arnie’s character Jack Slater is in pursuit. (Whilst casually vaulting over a balcony no less) he says “got to catch the red eye”. Ha Ha, genius.

43. “GET YOUR ASS TO MARS”
– Total Recall (1990)
   The first (of many) entry from Total Recall, is Arnie telling himself where to go for a change.

42. “IT’S NOT A TUMOR!”
– Kindergarten Cop (1990)
   When muttering that he has a headache one of Det. John Kimbles’ suggestive pupils comments “it might be a tumor…” to which Arnie retorts “It’s not a tumor! It’s not a tumor, at all.”

41. “TO HELL WITH YOU!”
– Most Arnie Films
   He actually probably says this in every film in which he stars, as he loves yelling this line especially in Predator and The Running Man among others.

40. “OF COURSE, I’M A TERMINATOR”
– T2: Judgement Day (1991)
   John Connor: “You were gonna kill that guy!?!”
   “Of course, I’m a Terminator”. Pure class.

39. “YOU’RE LUGGAGE!”
– Eraser (1996)
   Schwarzenegger shoots two advancing crocodiles just in the nick of time. “You’re luggage!”… yeah, he showed them.

38. “HERE IS SUB-ZERO… NOW, PLAIN ZERO”
– The Running Man (1987)
   After dispatching the hockey stick/blade wielding loony Sub-Zero, Arnie presents his kill to the camera with this ‘witty’ put-down.

37. “I’M THE FAMOUS COMEDIAN ARNOLD BROWNSCHWIEGER”
– Last Action Hero (1993)
   Jack Slater showing his sharp sarcastic wit as Danny Madigan keeps telling him his real name is Arnold Schwarzenegger and he’s a ‘big movie star’.

36. “I’M THE PARTY POOPER”
– Kindergarten Cop (1990)
   Before going undercover as a teacher we get a glimpse of Det. John Kimble in action, crashing a party – Arnie style! When some cocky whipper-snapper steps up saying “who the hell are you man?!” Kimble explains with this line, before letting rip with his trusty shotgun!

35. “ALLOW ME TO BREAK THE ICE”
– Batman & Robin (1997)
   One of many ice-related puns and one-liners as Schwarzenegger plays Mr Freeze, it’s his cool delivery and icy look that make this film memorable… just. But the less said about Batman & Robin the better.

34. “TALK TO THE HAND”
– T3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
   After the inaugural naked time travelling appearance and collecting his ‘attire’ from a male stripper at the beginning of the film the Terminator gets some supplies and tries to leave the store without paying. The shop assistant if “he’s gonna pay for that?!”, to which he says this line; newly learnt from his encounter with said male stripper.

33. “YOU, ARE NOT YOU, YOU ARE ME. . . NO SHIT!”
– Total Recall (1990)
   When Quid meets Hauser (both Schwarzenegger). Before telling himself to get his ass to Mars, Arnie explains who he is to himself…

32. “NO PROBLEMO”
– T2: Judgement Day (1991)
   The Terminator shows how quick he can learn ‘humanisms’ from the young John Connor.

31. “I’M NOT SHITTING ON YOU”
– Red Heat (1988)
   Not fully understanding the question – “are you shittin’ me?!” Arnie’s character Capt. Ivan Danko monotonously replies “I’m not shitting on you”.

30. “FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!”
– Most Arnie Films
   Another of Arnie’s favoured insults. It’s the way he says this more than the words that puts it on the list. A particular favourite use of this line is in Commando when fighting the ‘Green Beret’.

29. “SCREW YOU!”
– Total Recall (1990)
   Using a huge mining drill to finish off another pesky bad guy, Arnie doesn’t actually say ‘screw you’, its more “Screeeeeeeeeeew Yoooooooooooou!!!”.

28. “YOU KILLED MY FATHER… BIG MISTAKE”
– Last Action Hero (1993)
   Another great one from this film, made all the better by Jack Slater toking on a massive cigar during the line.

27. “I’M A COP YOU IDIOT!”
– Kindergarten Cop (1990)
   With John Kimble undercover and attempting to make an arrest, uniformed police show up and put their guns on him… you can work out what’s said next.

26. “WHAT KILLED THE DINOSAURS?… THE ICE AGE!”
– Batman & Robin (1997)
   Yet another cheesy, corn-laiden pun from Mr Freeze. Ridiculous… but so funny.

25. “THERE IS NO BATHROOM!”
– Kindergarten Cop (1990)
   The moment Arnie snaps at his pupils and lays down the law. Hilarious and Brilliant. The full quote is:- “You are mine now! You belong to me! You’re not gonna have your mommies run behind you anymore wipe your little tushies! No more complaining, no more Mr Kimble I have to go to the bathroom! Nothing! THERE IS NO BATHROOM!”

24. “DILLON!…YOU SON OF A BITCH”
– Predator (1987)
   The first of numerous amazing quotes from Predator, but it’s the arm wrestle handshake with Dillon (Carl Weathers) that makes this scene.

23. “HEY, CHRISTMAS TREE”
– The Running Man (1987)
   Dynamo – the ‘stalker’ who is, essentially, a fat man wearing a plastic suit covered in lights and a stupid hat. Luckily Arnie knows how to get his attention…

22. “CHILL OUT, DICK WAD”
– T2: Judgement Day (1991)
   The Terminator has learned a lot from John Connor by this point… and apparently “chill out, dick wad” is neccesary language for a terminator. And John Connor went on to be leader of the resistance?!?

21. “COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE”
– T2: Judgement Day (1991)
   This immortal line has been used in a number of action films since T2, and is synonymous with Arnie and Terminator. During her attempted escape from a mental hospital a terrified and unknowing Sarah Connor is confronted by the terminator, but reaching out his hand he leaves her no alternative.

20. “WELL THAT HIT THE SPOT”
– The Running Man (1987)
   This comedy line from The Butcher of Bakersfield comes as Killian is sent down the ‘game pipe’ and flies out the other end through a huge billboard… that did hit the spot Arnie.

19. “IF IT BLEEDS, WE CAN KILL IT”
– Predator (1987)
   ‘Dutch’ describing his ‘plan’ for the Predator after discovering green blood had been left after they fired at it (and destroyed half the forest in the process!).

18. “KNOCK – KNOCK!”
– Predator (1987)
   This is pure comedy genius with Arnie’s timing and delivery; booting down a hut door then simply saying “knock-knock”, before blasting the bad guys through the wall. Oh Yeah!

17. “ICED THAT GUY”
– Last Action Hero (1993)
   After blowing up an ice cream van behind two pursuing bad guys, one of them collapses forward revealing an ice cream cone lodged in the back of his head. I love Arnie’s cheesy grin as he says this line, so proud of himself… awesome Arnie, awesome.

16. “HA HA HA, YOU THINK THIS IS THE REAL QUID?… IT IS!”
– Total Recall (1990)
   Arnie having fun confusing bad guys on Mars, before blasting them!

15. (‘WHAT HAPPENED TO BUZZSAW?’) – “AH, HE HAD TO SPLIT”
– The Running Man (1987)
   Ben Richards is struggling with the chainsaw-wielding beef neck Buzzsaw before managing to ‘insert’ said chainsaw between Buzzsaw’s legs and forcing it straight up… when asked later what happened to Buzzsaw, the ever reliable Arn has this zinger up his sleeve.

14. “I DON’T DO REQUESTS”
– The Running Man (1987)
   More from the pun-laiden The Running Man. With
Arnie’s survival getting to Killian he snaps “Drop dead!” at Arnie, but Arnie doesn’t do requests.

13. “DO IT. DO IT NOW!”
– Predator (1987)
   No pun here, just Arnold roaring like a beast at the Predator as he tries to lure it into his trap, using himself as bait… “Come on! Kill me. Do it. Do it now!” One of the most quoted Arnie lines ever.

12. “STICK AROUND!”
– Predator (1987)
   During the guerilla village attack he pins a bad guy to a wooden post by hurling his massive knife through his chest, exclaiming “stick around”.

11. “SEE YOU AT THE PARTY, RICHTER!”
– Total Recall (1990)
   Not an actual pun at all this one, but after tearing the bad guys arms off using an elevator and throwing them over with the rest of his body, the line refers to an earlier encounter where Richter says “see you at the party!”.

10. “GET TO THE CHOPPER!”
– Predator (1987)
   Much like the “do it, do it now” line from Predator, this is definitely one of the most quoted and popular Arnie lines of all time. With it’s delivery and how well known it is, it just had to make the top ten.

9. “YOU WANT TO BE A FARMER?… HERE’S A COUPLE OF ACRES!”
– Last Action Hero (1993)
   As Jack Slater is told not to enter a building a young ill-advised policeman is in his way. This line is swiftly followed by a swift kick in the plums!

8. “HASTA LA VISTA, BABY”
– T2: Judgement Day (1991)
   “And if you really wanna shine someone on, it’s hasta la vista, baby”. So says John Connor in his continued human education of Arnie’s ‘machine’. His look, and sound, as the leather-clad Terminator fit and finish this line off perfectly.

7. “WHO IS YOUR DADDY, AND WHAT DOES HE DO?”
– Kindergarten Cop (1990)
   Arnie’s ‘game’ with the children, it’s just the way he says it that warrants this line being in the top ten. Schwarzenegger makes this line funny, not the line itself. It’s become classic Arnie.

6. “RUBBER-BABY-BUGGY-BUMPERS”
– Last Action Hero (1993)
   The rest of this quote explains why it’s placed so high… “You see them movies where they say make my day or i’m your worst nightmare, well listen to this one – rubber-baby-buggy-bumpers! Ha, you didn’t know I was going to say that!”
   As he says, you didn’t know he was going to say that!

5. “YOU SHOULD HAVE CLONED YOURSELF! – (WHY’S THAT?) – SO YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF!”
– The 6th Day (2000)
   The only entry from The 6th Day; it’s not the greatest film ever made to say the least. It is a ridiculous line, but it is funny, and it actually feels like the whole cloning storyline was written for this Arnie one-liners.

4. “CONSIDER THAT A DIVORCE!”
– Total Recall (1990)
   After arguing with and finding out that his wife (Sharon Stone) is working with the bad guys, she tries talking her way out of it as he points his gun at her… “you won’t kill me, we’re married!” Arnie shoots her in the face, of course, before replying “consider that a divorce”… subtle.

3. “LET OFF SOME STEAM, BENNET”
– Commando (1985)
   This is, I think, one of the one-liners that kick-started every film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger after this to include funny puns and cliched lines. Arnie has just taken out the bad guy by ripping a pipe off the wall and impaling it through his chest and into a huge pressurised tank. As steam begins to bellow out through the pipe inserted in his chest Arnie cooly states “let off some steam, Bennet”.

2. “I’LL BE BACK”
– The Terminator (1984)
   Probably Arnie’s most famous line ever and has been said by almost every other character he’s played. The Terminator though was the original and was one of few lines he actually had in the film. This role, and this line kick-started his acting career… and the rest, as they say, is history.

*DRUMROLL PLEASE!*

1. “YOU’RE A QUOIREBOY COMPARED TO ME! A FUCKING QUOIREBOY!”
– End Of Days (1999)
   Perhaps not his best or most well known film, and contributing only one quote to my top 50. But one is all it takes, and this is a hell of a one! It manages to be an awesome Arnie rant and a hilariously great line, especially because it is directed at Satan himself, or at least the man that the devil has taken the form of. Arnie’s character “Jericho Caine”, who’s name is as ridiculous as the quote, scene, and entire film is for that matter. But, somehow, because it’s Arnie, it works. It just works.

   Well that’s it. Thanks for reading my Arnie Top 50. Any and all comments will be appreciated, and if you think there’s any quotes I’ve missed out let me know and I’ll see what I can do…. oh wait, hang on, there’s one more I’ve just remembered…

BONUS. “YOU COLD-BLOODED BASTARD, I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I THINK OF IT. I LIVE TO SEE YOU EAT THAT CONTRACT, BUT I HOPE YOU LEAVE ENOUGH ROOM FOR MY FIST BECAUSE I’M GOING TO RAM IT INTO YOUR STOMACH AND BREAK YOUR GOD-DAMN SPINE!!!”
– The Running Man (1987)
   This is a long line but is so good it deserves a place of it’s own. Arnie’s rant at Killian, while holding up the camera he’s talking in to before roaring as he smashes it to floor, is just legendary. It’s in response to being offered a contract to be a ‘stalker’ on The Running Man gameshow, and he’s asked “what do you think?” From this quote it’s clear…..
   Don’t Mess With Arnie!

Written by Matthew Brown

FANBOYS (2009)

DIRECTOR: Kyle Newman
WRITER(s): Ernest Cline. Adam F. Goldberg
RUN TIME: 90mins
GENRE: Comedy/ Adventure

   The force is reasonably strong with this one, if your a Star Wars fan yourself, or are at least familiar with the films that is…
   1998, four friends decide to break in to the Skywalker Ranch and steal a ‘rough cut’ copy of Star Wars Ep.1: The Phantom Menace six months prior to it’s release. Cue American road trip, fanboy style! Now, it’s pointless me talking about ‘nuances of script’ or ‘sparkling performances’, this is not a film on the Oscar trail. The script though, considering the subject matter, is well written; full of funny one-liners, unfortunately hilarious situations, and plenty witty banter between the characters. Windows, played naturally by Jay Baruchel (Tropic Thunder, Knocked Up) is the standout performance and is gifted the best lines by writers Ernest Cline and Adam Goldberg.
   There’s a particularly funny scene involving a standoff between the Star Wars geeks and the Trekkies (Star Trek fans, for the uninitiated) including a routinely comedic showing from Seth Rogan (Knocked Up, every other Judd Apatow film etc) as the head ‘Trekkie’. Insults are exchanged and a full-on nerd fight ensues, “Han Solo is NOT a bitch!”. Seth Rogan isn’t the only cameo in the film though, with appearances from Billy Dee Williams as the Judge and Carrie Fisher as a hospital doctor. William Shatner also pops up, as himself of course. There’s also one or two surprising ones though; Danny Trejo as a pot-smoking Indian Chief anyone?… at least he isn’t playing a vampire barman again.
   After all the detours and distractions our heroes finally reach their ‘mecca’ Skywalker Ranch, and proceed to break in. The last act is a succession of in-jokes and fanboy eye candy inserted into a chase sequence involving THX security guards and the helmeted dark father himself. That said, I don’t think this film will appeal, or make any sense for that matter, to anyone outside of the Star Wars fraternity. But then again, this film isn’t meant to.
   Fanboys is made By fanboys, For fanboys. And is all the better for it.

Review by Matthew Brown

FROZEN (2010)

DIRECTOR: Adam Green
WRITER(s): Adam Green
RUN TIME: 93mins
GENRE: Drama/ Thriller/ Survival

   I wasn’t sure what to expect from Frozen; I’d read some conflicting reviews beforehand. There seemed to be a lot of unforgiving remarks about it being ‘unrealistic’ and what the characters ‘should have done’. Now I’ve seen it I find such comments nit-picking in what I found to be a thoroughly decent film. I had wondered how compelling a film about three people stuck on a ski lift could actually be, and worried that it might resort to a lot of ‘time-elapsing’ montages. In fact Adam Green (writer, director) manages to keep suspense ramped up and tension held throughout with some smart set pieces and brilliant writing.
   Lynch, played excellently by Shawn Ashmore (X-Men) has some great lines and the two male characters’ friendship is entirely believable from the outset. And it’s the clever writing and how well acted the roles are that make you care for the characters in the first place when their shocking situation begins to unfold.
   Catching the last ski lift to the top the three become stuck as a mix up at the bottom has the lift attendant shut it down believing the mountain to be clear. There is actually, and unexpectedly, some surprisingly funny dialogue between them before they realise they’re trapped as the resort lights are turned off. A conversation about the ‘worst ways to die’ is well written and is engaging enough to temporarily distract from the impending nightmare they faced… “sarlaac pit” apparently being the ‘worst way to go’ consequently.
   The comedy soon comes to an abrupt end though as the weather sets in and the realisation that the ski resort will not open again for another five days hits home. As the cold bites and the wolves gather there are some gruesome scenes, although nothing gratuitous; a Hostel or Saw, Frozen is not. It’s all believable, completely plausible, and well acted. There’s a ‘flesh stuck to cold metal’ scene that stays with you long after the film ends.
   Other than the ending nothing comes to mind that would greatly improve Frozen. I’m not sure quite what I was expecting, but the finale seems like a bit of an anticlimax and perhaps a tad rushed on the writing side, considering how well executed the whole film had been.
   Not to end on a bad note, Frozen is an intriguing suspense-thriller that is precisely written and well acted throughout, there are few notable flaws and it does the job it sets out to do; posing the all-important question. . . . . What would you do?

Review by Matthew Brown

SKYLINE (2010)

  

DIRECTOR: The Brothers Strause
WRITER(s): Joshua Cordes. Liam O’Donnell
RUN TIME: 94mins
GENRE: Sci-Fi/ Action

Where to start with Skyline… finding out that the directors, said brothers Strause (Colin and Greg), were visual effects artists and this film was only their second after directorial debut AVPR (Alien Vs Predator: Requiem) explained a lot. They’ve worked on films such as Avatar and Iron Man 2 and Skyline’s visuals are no less impressive. But it’s clear that visual flare was favoured over every other department; particularly the script and the cast. It’s actually like an episode of The O.C. with aliens. Other than Donald Faison (Turk from Scrubs) it’s a small cast of relative unknowns, none of whom give standout performances.
   The film does manage to zip along at a fair pace though with big ‘effects-heavy’ set pieces making up most of the 94minute running time. There are literally no scenes that move the narrative forward at all and the film ends leaving you knowing no more than when it started. It lends heavily from other sci-fi films too and some scenes genuinely feel like they’ve been copy and pasted from Independence Day, War of the Worlds, and Cloverfield. There is one scene that actually manages to build a bit of tension (before ruining it). The attempted Ferrari escape is the only time during the film that piqued any interest, but was quickly crushed with the return of cliched writing and B-movie performance.
   This is generally how the whole film pans out; any real excitement is short-lived, performances are poor, the script is just ridiculous, and with such a disappointing ending not even the great effects can lift Skyline out of straight-to-dvd mediocrity.
   Save time and just watch Independence Day again.

Review by Matthew Brown

GREAT GODZILLA’S GONADS!

When I heard about Warner Bros remaking Godzilla, my heart sank. With Inception, Devil, and Monsters (ironically) being the recent exceptions, there is no real originality or innovation in modern films. There are so many prequels, sequels, reboots, remakes, and the company favourite ‘re-imagining’ out there recently there’s no room for the smaller companies and filmmakers to get their ideas of the ground or out of their bedrooms so to speak.
The ‘prequel/ reworking’ of John Carpenter’s The Thing is a fine example of lazy financing towards film projects. It might end up surprising me, but I’m sure the budget for ‘not John Carpenter’s’ The Thing could’ve been put towards a young writer or director with a fresh idea. Not on a film set in exactly the same place and in exactly the same situation as the great original. I understand it makes more sense  financially than risk an unknown, but that’s where great ideas and great new films come from.
I finish with a question.
Would Star Wars ever be ‘remade’? (And by George Lucas doesn’t count)

Written by Matthew Brown

SUNSHINE (2007)

DIRECTOR: Danny Boyle
WRITER(s): Alex Garland
RUN TIME: 105mins
GENRE: Sci-Fi/ Horror/ Thriller

Watched Sunshine for the first time the other night. Enjoyable film, great cast and good acting. Keeps the audience captivated til the final third when it all goes a bit ‘Event Horizon’. Still, it’s good viewing. Seems like Danny Boyle was experimenting with his horror/mind-mess side with the ending and the film kind of loses focus because of it. Anyway, I’d recommend it, just bring your shades…

Review by Matthew Brown